Post by ~♥*Ren*♥~ on Jan 20, 2008 15:40:33 GMT -5
lol these are pretty funny my mom sent it to me and i thought i'd share.
#10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right
away. Shout, "Get Off, Stupid! GET OFF!"
#9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the
fall." Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your feet.
#8. Learn to grab your checkbook and write out a $200 check without
even looking down.
#7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and
tell the neighbors what you are doing - they might as well know now.
#6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice
pulling to a halt, smile as if you are having fun.
#5. Hone your fibbing skills: "See, moving hay bales is FUN!"
and, "No, really, I'm glad YOUR LUCKY performance and multimillion
dollar horse won the class. I am just thankful that MY HARD WORK and
actual ability won me second place".
#4. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with both arms
paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a
frisky horse.
#3. Borrow the US Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be -- bitten,
thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen...
#2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding
clothes and repeat to yourself, "This is a learning experience, this
is a learning experience, this is..."
#1. THE NUMBER ONE EXERCISE TO BECOME A BETTER EQUESTRIAN:
Remember, its never the horse's fault.
#10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right
away. Shout, "Get Off, Stupid! GET OFF!"
#9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the
fall." Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your feet.
#8. Learn to grab your checkbook and write out a $200 check without
even looking down.
#7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and
tell the neighbors what you are doing - they might as well know now.
#6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice
pulling to a halt, smile as if you are having fun.
#5. Hone your fibbing skills: "See, moving hay bales is FUN!"
and, "No, really, I'm glad YOUR LUCKY performance and multimillion
dollar horse won the class. I am just thankful that MY HARD WORK and
actual ability won me second place".
#4. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with both arms
paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a
frisky horse.
#3. Borrow the US Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be -- bitten,
thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen...
#2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding
clothes and repeat to yourself, "This is a learning experience, this
is a learning experience, this is..."
#1. THE NUMBER ONE EXERCISE TO BECOME A BETTER EQUESTRIAN:
Remember, its never the horse's fault.
![[J u m p r g r l ♥] Avatar](http://storage.proboards.com/forum/images/defaultavatar.png){kind=avatar}
