never thought I would be saying this.

[FreeStyle08]

ok well as you know baby has recently passed on, and I told my freind stacy if I didnt get on and ride I dont know if I would have the curage to get on again if I didnt get on soon, so she asked one of her freinds that was boarding a horse at her house if I could ride her and erin stacys freind said ya sure no problem.

so today we went out and got on every thing was going ok besides abby being extremely stuborn and wouldnt hardly move. all I could think wile riding that stuborn nag was wishing I was on baby and how much longer until I can get off.

I can honestly say that I never thought I would be saying this but I hate to ride now. all the fun has been taken out of it I still love horses but I couldnt stand to be on that horse today.

[FreeStyle08]

I had a lesson last night and the lesson its self went really well but I didnt have any fun it was almost like I couldnt wait to quit.

I have totaly lost all intrest in my horses after I lost baby. I miss him SO MUCH what did I do wrong why did he have to leave me.

[-Irwin Girl-]

I went through tis, in a smaller way, with Pixie. She wasbeign so stuborn that I dreaded ridign her.

Baby is gone, yes you loved baby and you miss him but hes gone. No matter hwo arhd you try, their isn't goging to eb another baby. If you get on a horse and immediatly think too bad this isnt baby of course your ride is going to eb no fun! It's okay to clutch tohsi photo at ngiht, to long to burry your head in hsi mane. But whenyuo get atop a horse, think about how awesoem that horse is And how much yuo love riding, adn how you can progress. It'll take awhile, but be positive girly! Dotn elt the world crash on your shoulders, stand up and fight it better then any boy could. So lifes pushing you, PUSH BACK. Show that you are still you, you are still the beautiful,amazing and jsut plain all around awesome girl you are. You lsot a friend, btu you didn't loose your passion. You yourself have to realize that. And maybe Baby wasn't meant to take you were you are meant to go, maybe he taught you all that he could and it was time for him to go. Maybe this is your challenge to pick yourself up and fight back. When life gives you lemons make lemonade!! Well actually though them back until you get some candy!! Coem on girl, pick yourself up off the cloud and put yourself on the sun that shines. Yuo deserve to shien girly, now show people how somebody liek you comes abck from a hard fall!! ILY

[Erica]

Aww, JJ! <33

I know you miss Baby, and no other horse will ever replace him, but if you really love riding, you've got to find another horse. It'll be really hard, but we're here for you. <3333

And if you really do want to quit riding, well, quit. But the longer you've quitted for, the harder it will be to get back on if you change your mind.

[FreeStyle08]

thanks guys i love you. I have pushed through so much In my life I am getting really tired of push back. but you know what I am going to keep going. I am riding wizard (monument and mitchs dad) and he has wonderful movement for dressage and he is so smart he will easily go dressage, jumping, gaming any thing I want to do he will be able to do.

even though i am going to keep pushing I dont know how much longer I can hold on to it all. ever since I was 4 years old I have had to push through really tough situations I made it through those and honestly if you compare this should be a breeze but its not and i am strugling to get get my self off the clouds and in the sunshine.

you know one thing that ernie has told me is to let life take me with it and relaxe but thats not me it leads me down a rode that I dont want to be on. and every second of my life i am having to stear my self back onto the right direction.

its sorta like a car with bad stearing always having to correct it becuase it wants to pull you into the ditch. that is what i have to do with life or other wise I would be a lazy ass peice of nuts if I dont force my self to stay on the rode im leading today. and I can always tell when im starting to relaxe becuase the bad girl comes out and i start thinking about doing drugs or just giving up all togather on life and every thing and just turning into party girl and stay out all night and drink and all that stuff.

ok enough about this i need to go to town so I will see you later.

Thanks again guy love you all.