Uncle Jay

[FreeStyle08]

ok well mom comes home today and says that she talked to Uncle Jay, and that he was going to be down next week. and Im thinking sweet i finaly get to see him, but then the bad news came, Mom told me that he has been really sick and no one knows how much longer he is going to live , I love uncle Jay SO much and after mom and John split up I havent been able to see him all but maby once or twice in the last 5-6 years. in the last 2 months he has had 3 open heart surgeries, and we just about lost him about 1 month ago.

I just talked to him a little wile ago and he sounds good and in high pirits but I wonder how good he is really doing. he has a pacemaker in now (which to me isnt a good sign), im kinda torn now after noing what I know reather I want to see him and start talking to him again (i didnt even have his phone number for thoughs years) or if I want to stay distant becuase im afraid of getting hurt even more if he does pass on soon.

[Mia]

I'm so sorry JJ! Losing someone you love is very difficult. I was very close to my grandmother and she passed away when I was young. You love your Uncle Jay, and this is when he needs you most. He needs you there to comfort him during his last days. I know you'll miss him terribly when he goes, but you can't stay away from him in fear of getting hurt. Wouldn't you want your niece to phone and talk to you and comfort you if you were in his position? You would really regret keeping a distance from him. <3333 Just my opinion. *Giant hug*

[FreeStyle08]

thanks mia your right. yesterday when I typed this I was under a lot of stress (i still am) but I wasnt thinking clearly.

and last night i was laying in bed crying none stop asking my self why is this happening why is he dieing why would god take him away from me. why is life being so tough on me right now especialy when I was just starting to feel normal again.

and I will not pull away from him right now.

[~♥Jesus Freak♥~]

Aww I'm sorry JJ. I really don't even know what to say.... This is one subject you'll need Mia on... I've never lost anyone, I don't know what its like to fear someone close dying. I mean I am very close to my Grandfather and I know he's not in the greatest health but its not like he's dying. He's just gettiing old. lol But... I honestly don't know what to say. What Mia said it right, I agree with her. Just pray about it. I'll keep yall in my prayers as always, hunny.

I love you. *Hug*

[FreeStyle08]

I love you guys too.

between you guys and my 2 best freinds here (not including ernie) are the only people that really keep me sain and from totaly calling it quites with everything.

today stacy and Mat took me out to lunch for the special surpise, the best freinds you could ever ask for. along with you guys always being there for me I love you all SO much

[~♥Jesus Freak♥~]

We keep you sane?!?! How?!?! LOL!!! We're not even sane!!!!!!!!!!! xD

We love you, JJ!!!!!!!!!!!

[-Irwin Girl-]

lmao im with nikki, how that wqork its some sorta of weird thing,then again the mantlers keep me sane and hell none of us are sane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[FreeStyle08]

honestly you guys are a lot more sane then my life around here.

but im still not totaly sane infact a lot of times im insane. LOL

love you all

[-Irwin Girl-]

lol trust me it isn't 'normal''round here either..yesterday i got asked why i was reading a book from front to back and i was like Ísnt that how you're supposed to read it?'But then again it was the redneck dictionary or whatever..by um whats his face that hosts are you amarter then a fith grader...meh i can't rember his name:P And last night i was cuddling with dad(walt) and was practically fallin of the couch but i didn't care and mom(gis) comes in and starts laughing her head off..well not really but she just comes over and pull out the leg things(u know the lazeboy couches have em) and i was lie oh thats how you dont fll:P it was fun, speaking of which i should be doing hw:P

[FreeStyle08]

kansas I know you home life is really tough but doesnt it feel good to know you have somewere you can go and feel normal. and to have people you can lean on.

thats the way I am at stacys and gerrys im all relaxed and it feels like home to me.