Post by FreeStyle08 on Jun 7, 2008 23:25:15 GMT -5
I hate this I hate this I hate this.
Every day I wake up I expect to see baby out there in his pen. but instead I see wizard every day I see babies last moments that scared me so bad to see him lay there hardly able to breath. and then sufficate for a few moments before terry got there to give him the shot. I dont like reliving this moment WHAT DO I DO? I hate waking up in the morning and seeing wizard instead of baby and every morning being reminded that baby is gone.
every one thinks I am taking this so well but inside I feel like someone has stuck a nife through me.
I lost a horse that I loved to pieces then I found one that I was bonding to that I really liked and was for sale but now she is sold also.
wizard is a good horse but he has trust issues and so do I now. and it is so easy for wizard to hold a gruge I hate having to fight so hard to keep that horse from hating me. i mean you do one little thing wrong and he has a gruge and its really hard to get him out of it.
I mean contessa was such a sweet heart although she was stand off ish but I started cleaning her pen and within a few days that horse was looking and nikkering at me and all I was doing was cleaning her pen. but she acted like I had been giving her grain and riding her for years it like it was an instant conection and she doesnt have that with shauntel or leah. but now she is sold and I will never be able to have a chance with her.
but im sure that wizard will have a gruge soon since I havent been riding or going out to see him.
mom and dad dont know this but almost every time I go out and ride all I want to do is sceam and yell at wizard and treat him totaly horrible. and after the ride it gets worse I have to hold my self back so much that I could blow and its not right to treat a horse like that so i find its just easer to stay away and not deal with it. its like im blaming wizard for babys death even though its not his fault.
I need help before I end up taking my frustrations out on the horse. and doing something I will regret.
Every day I wake up I expect to see baby out there in his pen. but instead I see wizard every day I see babies last moments that scared me so bad to see him lay there hardly able to breath. and then sufficate for a few moments before terry got there to give him the shot. I dont like reliving this moment WHAT DO I DO? I hate waking up in the morning and seeing wizard instead of baby and every morning being reminded that baby is gone.
every one thinks I am taking this so well but inside I feel like someone has stuck a nife through me.
I lost a horse that I loved to pieces then I found one that I was bonding to that I really liked and was for sale but now she is sold also.
wizard is a good horse but he has trust issues and so do I now. and it is so easy for wizard to hold a gruge I hate having to fight so hard to keep that horse from hating me. i mean you do one little thing wrong and he has a gruge and its really hard to get him out of it.
I mean contessa was such a sweet heart although she was stand off ish but I started cleaning her pen and within a few days that horse was looking and nikkering at me and all I was doing was cleaning her pen. but she acted like I had been giving her grain and riding her for years it like it was an instant conection and she doesnt have that with shauntel or leah. but now she is sold and I will never be able to have a chance with her.
but im sure that wizard will have a gruge soon since I havent been riding or going out to see him.
mom and dad dont know this but almost every time I go out and ride all I want to do is sceam and yell at wizard and treat him totaly horrible. and after the ride it gets worse I have to hold my self back so much that I could blow and its not right to treat a horse like that so i find its just easer to stay away and not deal with it. its like im blaming wizard for babys death even though its not his fault.
I need help before I end up taking my frustrations out on the horse. and doing something I will regret.
