cross country peom (this is only a rough draft G)

[FreeStyle08]

ok this is only a rough draft but I have read it over and over and I need someone else to help me on what i need to fix add what ever

please I would like you to be tough on me rather you say it sucks wich it probebly does. but help with gramer puncuation ANY THING you see that I could improve on, I will be turning this in for a grade next week.

Cross Country.

Hearing you name called.
your mind racing with anticipation,
Feeling your horse move with excitement
Knowing what is coming up.
Before you know it your off,
Galloping over miles of open land.
Feeling your horses every move.
Soon seeing a log pile in front of you
Feeling your horse sit back,
Your up, in the air feeling like your flying
Wind in your hair, the smoothness of your horses land
Your off, few jumps later checking your watch hoping your with in time.
Galloping along seeing the next jump soon counting strides
3,2,1 feeling your horse sit back and with in seconds your up and over.
25 Jumps later your up and over the last Jump.
Asking your horse for one last serge forward soon your over the finish line
Checking your watch, looking over at the clocker waiting for your official time.

hope you liked it.

[EquitationRocker♥]

Thats really good!

[FreeStyle08]

Thanks. thats only a rough draft but I still like it.

[~♥Jesus Freak♥~]

Cross Country.

Hearing your name called,
your mind racing with anticipation.
Feeling your horse move with excitement,
knowing what is coming up.
Before you know it your off,
Galloping over miles of open land.
Feeling your horses every move.
Soon seeing a log pile in front of you.
Feeling your horse sit back,
Your up, in the air feeling like your flying.
Wind in your hair, the smoothness of your horses land.
Your off, few jumps later checking your watch hoping your with in time.
Galloping along seeing the next jump soon counting strides.
3,2,1 feeling your horse sit back and with in seconds your up and over.
25 Jumps later your up and over the last jump.
Asking your horse for one last serge forward soon your over the finish line.
Checking your watch, looking over at the clocker waiting for your official time.

The things in bold are the only things I saw that you should change. Just some puntuations that were wrong and a few mis-capitolizations and some missing letters.
Thats really good though! I like it!

[FreeStyle08]

Ok me and mom already went over it, and most of the things you did me and mom did.

thanks for you help.

and I desided to keep the wording the same as it is here.

[~♥Jesus Freak♥~]

Ok. Great!!Hope ya get an A++ If not, your teach is retarded!

[FreeStyle08]

thanks for your nikki that makes me feel much better.